10 Reasons Why the Raiders Suck Even More Than the Chiefs:
10. Johnnie Lee Higgins? Wha? Your punt returner is a blues musician? Thought he was dead?
9. Nna, Nna, Nna…not ever gonna be a household name because nobody can say his effin’ name.
8. I’d rather have serious instability at the kicker position than serious mental instability at the kicker position.
7. Is first-round pick JaMarcus Russell better than seventh-round draft pick/waiver wire pick-up Tyler Thigpen? Depends if we’re talking football or food.
6. The Silver and Black legacy has gone from “The Autumn Wind” to breaking wind.
5. Javon Walker. And we thought we wasted money on Devard Darling. Raidah fans now wish Walker didn’t wake up from that bottle-induced nap.
4. Stanford Routt. Is that the quickest way to get to Palo Alto or the endzone?
3. You know what’s worse than hiring Gunther Cunningham twice? Hiring Art Shell twice. At least we’ve got you on that one.
2. Lions fans wanted the guy who ran their team gone. Chiefs fans want Carl Peterson gone. The Raiders want Al Davis to finally keel over. That is, if they already aren’t proping him up Weekend At Bernie’s style.
1. Know why the mascot wears that patch over his eye? Because even he can only half watch the Raiders.
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