Arrowhead Advantage: Bolt Busters

Why the Chiefs are Cooler Than the Chargers (Still Still Playing Make Believe…):

10. Bolts fans are like the library crowd. When they get real excited they are still only about as loud as the library crowd when the librarian temporarily dozes off.

9. I’m sure the Chargers came up with a long list of good reasons for letting Drew Brees go during that plane ride back from London. Even Carl Peterson would have trouble spinning that gaffe.

8. Those clowns picked Buster Bust Davis seven picks after Dwayne Bowe. Same college. Same round of the draft. Completely different results.

7. Brandon Manumaleuna? More like Brenda Manboobsleuna. Isn’t he a little chunky to be playing tight end?

6. Cletis Gordon sounds like some hillbilly down in Arkansas who’s shotgun marrying his first cousin.

5. Shawn Phillips, aka “the Other Guy,” isn’t much of an other guy without Shawne Merriman around.

4. Speaking of Shawne, he lost enough of a step when he had to get off the Vitamin S. What’s he going to be like now that he’s a cripple?

3. All of us are sure glad we picked you first in our fantasy leagues, LaDanian Tomlinson. I’m not saying that you’ve lost a step, what I’m saying is that if you do that commercial with Troy Polamalu again next year you’ll get your ass knocked the eff out.

2. Congratulations, Norv Turner! You make Herm Edwards look like the lovechild of Bill Walsh and Vince Lombardi.

1. If you sounded like a Southern Corky from Life Goes On, would you talk as much smack as Philip Rivers does?