(You mean I still have to do this? And the Addicts emphatically nod “yes”…tradition is tradition, buddy.)
Why the Chiefs are Cooler Than the Jets (Who Says Only Kids Can Play Make Believe, Huh?):
10. Is Brett Favre on The Hills? No? So why in the hell are we fretting so much over who he calls and texts? So lame.
9. Which team now has Herm Edwards, huh? Uh, actually, wait a minute…
8. At least we didn’t spend a fortune on overpriced talent only to lose to the Raiders. We got a discount–go Cheaps!
7. If Len Dawson got tanked on national TV and tried to kiss a reporter, she’d definitely be hotter than Suzy Kolber.
6. Phew, no need to worry about the bailout any more. Kris Jenkins just ate Wall Street for a snack.
5. Every time Chiefs fans get down on Glenn Dorsey, we just look at Vernon Gholsten‘s stats, or lack therof.
4. What in the **** is a Chansi Stuckey?
3. How is the Favre gamble paying off? Let’s see…the Jets shoot from long range, Green Bay actually…it’s up…and…it’s…a…D’Brick! Game over. 3-3 is all the magic Mr. Stubble can muster?
2. You play in New Jersey? Which exit? I kid the Armpit of America. Nothing but love.
1. Jets fans are either: A.) Douchebags who throw on their two-sizes-too-small, mustard-stained Wayne Chrebet jersey and go to the draft every year to boo vociferously when the next Kyle Brady gets selected by tehir J-E-T-S; or B.) “the cheesy, gold chain-wearing, open-shirt, eighties-style guidos with their Gotti boy haircuts and IROC-Z pimped out autos with neon hat tip)