This Old Chief: Jailhouse Doc
I recently had the opportunity to drive down I-70 late one night. As I passed Arrowhead, I noticed the dramatic changes brought on by construction. Changes such as spotlights, heavy-duty equipment and chain link fences.The more I reflected on the changes and this horrendous season, the more I began to realize that Arrowhead had become transformed into a prison for the Chiefs players and the fans.
Our first example of this is Tony Gonzalez. An all-time great and a lock for the Hall of Fame, Tony had the audacity to ask the warden (Carl Peterson) for parole. His lawyers and fans begged the warden to consider the facts; he had been a leader, a very productive inmate, and deserved parole on excellent behavior. Besides, it would open up prison space for a new inmate (a third-round pick). After getting everybody’s hopes up, the warden ultimately said no at the last minute. He said it would disturb the chemistry of the prison. So, there Tony sits, playing out his sentence until he becomes eligible for parole this spring.
Our second inmate is a curious example of imitation. Larry Johnson’s running style has always been compared to the great Jim Brown. Unfortunately, LJ has chosen to emulate the great one’s relationship with the fairer sex off the field as well. He is soon to face head of the penile system (Roger Goodell) and a likely suspension. It is just a matter of time, unless he gets help, before he goes to a real prison.
Our third inmate resides about 30 miles from Arrowhead. Some people, including the Chief scribe of this site, have suggested he is the savior for the Chiefs franchise. What a ridiculous suggestion. Let’s take a young struggling franchise with issues on and off the field, and add the most controversial athlete of this generation–Micheal Vick. Adding Vick might set the franchise back another 5-10 years. Do the memories of the Falcons of the last two years have any meaning?
Our fourth and final inmate is an escapee–Kawika Mitchell. Deemed rehabilitated and no potential threat to society (the rest of the league), he was released. Since leaving Al-Carl-traz, he has won a Super Bowl and now is an integral component of the revamped Buffalo Bills. His replacement, Napoleon Harris, is now in a minimum security prison in Minnesota alongside Jared Allen, another former prisoner of the warden’s Rock.
What a dysfunctional prison!!! Is it the inmate’s fault? Not entirely. Ultimately, you have to blame the warden. As a famous man from Independence used to say–THE BUCK STOPS THERE! Time to bring in a new warden who can turn 1 Arrowhead Drive back into a respectable facility in time for it’s reopening in 2010.
So Brokie Cripple can finally claim a suit against police brutality in the prison? If you can’t take the hit, you must quit.
October 20th, 2008 at 9:31 pmLets see 49ers are firing their coach, Rams fired theirs and instant turn around, Raiders fired their coach, Cowboys are cleaning house no tolerance for anything less that first rate coaching Im sure KC will Im holding on watching the news Im sure Herm is next we have intelligent ownership right?
October 20th, 2008 at 9:39 pmI had a question for you guys regarding the chiefs.
How would you rate the female supporters at Kansas city?
Im coming to the US for a holliday next year and want to get into arrowhead for a game. Since i won’t be watching the game, how is the talent at Arrowhead.
October 20th, 2008 at 10:25 pmThe “talent” is pretty good, but you better know your stuff. The Kansas City women know their team just as well as the men do. You over in the UK?
October 20th, 2008 at 11:29 pm“Al-Carl-traz” – classic
Tim,
Just bring your accent and act like you’re rich…
October 20th, 2008 at 11:49 pmchicks on the plaza or the P & L will fall for any of that phony shit.
It’s funny, just today the thought crossed my mind about the coaching situation that if we could not somehown get Cowher then Singletary would be a decent try. Then he goes and gets promoted to HC in SF…EFF…I hope he does well, but word is there are uncertainties about him.
Honestly, I as well as some others I think have seriously considered how they will respond if Clark does nothing this offseason…would anyone hereever consider a temporary divorce if he does nothing at all? I considered it momentarily, but I dont have the balls to do it, I’m afraid…Still, there is absolutely no excuse for both Carl and Herm to have a job next season. If they do, and we STILL remain the team with the most cap room and we STILL suck this badly then I am officially divorcing this team until it is sold….or something…
October 21st, 2008 at 1:07 amDad brought the fire this week, but…I do have to take credit for Al-Carl-traz. Have a feeling that one is going to stick.
You’re absolutely right, though; everybody’s doing the Jailhouse Rock, doc, and it’s not as fun as the Elvis rendition. You are wrong on Vick, though, and I’ll get to that soon.
October 21st, 2008 at 1:38 amIm an aussie Adam. and yeah, i know my chiefs pretty well. so i think i got that covered.
Thanks for the tip Eric, lucky for me i have a thick accent and im rich
October 21st, 2008 at 2:02 amGet an aisle seat and you get to watch the show as they come up the stairs jiggle jiggle.
Herm today says they “might be looking” to bring another qb in. How exciting!
October 21st, 2008 at 6:51 amTony Bologna , you would not have the stats you have if you played for another franchise that had options on what to do with the ball.
October 21st, 2008 at 8:32 amTony Bologna , you would not have the stats you have if you played for another franchise that had options on what to do with the ball.
October 21st, 2008 at 8:32 amIt’s pretty ironic that we let Kawika go to make room for Nap Harris, now he’s killin it and we have nothing at mike. I honestly don’t know how the team got this bad. This is ok for me to say, but is inexcusable for Herm to say that. I want some emotion from him at least, and some accountability. I want to hear “its my job to make sure these kids are ready to play, and I continue to fail miserably”. I know he’s not the one making tackles, but I can’t stand to hear “we got behind, and that’s not good for us.” Wow. I’m glad he cleared that up. Is it not good for us because we can’t score or because we can’t stop the opponent from doing so? Or both?
October 21st, 2008 at 11:05 amI am already longing for the draft, which is pathetic. I love watching my Chiefs on sundays, but this is depressing and heart-wrenching. I knew this was going to be a tough year, but we should be able to at least compete.
Exactly right, I can’t stand to hear Herm speak anymore…I just read the transcripts so I can cut through the crap…The coaching and game prep is obviously lacking…We need to grab Cowher this offseason and let him shake up the entire front office with his people…Also something I think is lacking is personal accountability and desire from the players to try and get better themselves…Not that you would hear about it but I want Dorsey pissed that he is performing so awfully so far. I want him working til dark to show he is worth the no. 5 pick, calling Warren Sapp, Joe Greene, whoever…to get better…That is what I want…
October 21st, 2008 at 11:31 amMan. This last game was so bad; that I watched the 1st quarter and fast forwarded through the 2nd 3rd and 4th quarter. I have sunday ticket and those games cost me like 20 bucks a pop. So I think that says something about how this season is rolling.
Ive always said I wanted us to have another losing season to get another good draft. But the chiefs are really over doing it haha.
Hell, I think we are gona be drafting TOO high. Maybe if Bradford declares a 1st 2nd or 3rd pick would be worth it. But, I think Ray Maligula can be had anywhere between 5th and 15th. Not sure though, its a long ways away from draft day still.
Oh, and im also entertaining the idea of trading down. Let me know if you guys think there would be any decent takers where we could pick up Ray Maligula and Alex Mack in one good trade down.
October 21st, 2008 at 1:03 pmIt’s sad that we’re already talking about the draft, but I guess we can’t help it. I would love to see Maligula in red, but I don’t want to reach if we’re in the top 3. If there is a franchise QB available and you don’t have one, the rule is you draft him. Kinda wish we had Matt Ryan now. It probably wouldn’t make a difference with a soon to be suspended RB, a wet tissue o line, and a wet tissue run D who wouldn’t stop Stephen Hawking with a football.
Long way until draft day. I guess we have to stick it out until then….
October 21st, 2008 at 3:15 pmLove that Arrowhead Draft Party!
October 21st, 2008 at 4:27 pmHawking with a football…hahaha….
I tend to always be busy on draft day, it sucks…but when Oakland took McFadden over Dorsey I screamed and shouted…and now I look foolish…I am confident he will come around, but it is depressing for now…
October 21st, 2008 at 5:24 pmI was elated when 72 fell to us and I’m confident it will pay dividends. RB’s are a dime a dozen, while dominant DT’s are not. Rookie DT’s rarely make much of an impact. They have to adjust to pro lineman double teams and get lost in the shuffle often, especially in the first half of the season. I expected a lack of production from him individually, but anticipated that the LB’s behind him would have the freedom to make plays instead of pulling blockers out of their teeth. Much to our chagrin, that hasn’t happened. The front 7 is getting muscled around, which certainly has to do with an anemic O that goes 3 and out every play and shoots themselves in the foot with penalties constantly. Titans D can dominate with Haynesworth in the middle, and Dorsey will do the same in due time.
October 21st, 2008 at 6:07 pmi certainly hope so…And I did mean that I screamed and shouted for joy…I was quite happy…
October 21st, 2008 at 7:02 pm