Trading Tony G: No Rest For Weary Chiefs Fans

Crane DamageThis is a sad, anxious day for a lot of Chiefs fans out there. By 3 p.m. today, one of the greatest Chiefs of all time could be packing his bags for a contender. This author thinks if we don’t get at least a second-rounder and a player/additional draft pick, then we should keep Gonzo, here’s why.

The loss of Tony G will hurt the Chiefs short-term financially, far more than the value of crap draft picks we would gain in return (unless they are 1st or second round). Additionally, God help the player we get in the draft due to the number of Tony G references he would have to suffer through. Also, from a business standpoint, getting rid of the only player most women can name on the Chiefs is a silly idea if revenue has any importance locally. I can name 10 women off the top of my head that will be soured and bitchy on the Chiefs forever if they ship the Big Vegetarian Burrito out of town. That’s 10 people not going to games, buying beers, paying for parking etc. If Tony splits, you can literally multiply that number by 1000. Ask any female Chiefs fan who their favorite player is and they don’t hesitate to tell you, “Tony Gonzalez.” And of course, there will be tons of those “Tony deserves to be traded to a contender” people out there. Y’all are so sweet.

I’ve maintained this position for a week now, and I continue to support the theory that if Herm and Co. would have gotten Tony the record in front of family and Chiefs fans, instead of dissing him; I don’t think Tony would have been as upset or as accepting of a trade. Tony was mad and he had every right to be. Was this the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back? Some have speculated that T.G. went in after the Atlanta game and asked for the trade. After Thiggy Small’s Interception Party, that is believable. “Oh, you guys have a rookie QB in Matt Ryan? Well, we will play our third string QB just to even things out.”

Some of the real offers being reported are: a third rounder from Buffalo, oh and a new set of speculation from Buffalo too, some interest from Philadelphia, and a low-ball sixth-round pick from the New York Giants. (You kinda gotta love someone for low-balling Carl. How’s your own medicine taste King?) Of course, KC’s former favorite redneck footballer, Jared Allen, had to poke his nose into this too. Mind your business Jared. KC is no longer a concern to you. If you don’t like Big Red then #@CK YOU.

There is also some late talk from the “King of plagurizing Rick Reilly”, Adam Schefter*, that the Dolphins are shopping QB John Beck and the Detroit Lions throwing out last year’s surprise garbage time fantasy hero, WR Shaun McDonald. If Beck can’t outplay Pennington, we shouldn’t want him. *I caught A.S. copying a paragraph of R.R.’s and through that, met Woody Paige at the Denver Post. True story.

Here are some of the scenarios of trading Tony G for some “good” players. Listed below are some potential deals and big name players that will be free agents next year, and could immediately contribute to the Chiefs.

  • Trade to the Giants for their 2nd and fifth…surely Tony is at least worth Shockey compensation.
  • Trade him for the Cardinal’s Anquan Boldindrawbacks: Q wants paid massively and we’d likely have to throw in a 1st rounder. Worth it? No, probably not with Brokie Croyle at the wheel.
  • Trade for Ocho Cinco – No one in the league needs a change of scenery more. Worth it? I personally like Ocho but I’m not sure if I’d like him in my backyard. Worth it if we don’t give anything else.
  • Trade him to the Cardinals for Karlos Dansby He’s 26 and a rising star linebacker. We’d have to throw in a 1st. The Cards will probably franchise him.
  • Trade him for Derek Anderson - but after he decided to actually play well last night; weeks after RUINING my fantasy draft and being cut (by me), the Browns won’t trade him, and he can kiss my ass.
  • Tony wants to cry? Ship him to Oakland to die. We’ll take next year’s FA corner Nmadhi Asomugha out of Davisland: second to Neverland Ranch on “Places not to be in after the sun sets“.
  • Other Noteable FA’s:
    Tank Johnson, Mike Peterson, Bart Scott, Chris Gamble, Dawan Landry, Terrell Suggs, Jonathan Vilma, Eric Barton and Ray Lewis.

    Sound off Addicts: What should we do with the Big Burrito?

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Tags: Anquan Boldin Carl Chiefs Dansby Free Agents Gonzo Herm New York Giants NFL News Nmadhi Asomugha Ocho Cinco Ray Lewis Rick Reilly Tank Johnson Tony G Tony Gonzales Trade Vilma

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