And lo the army of Arrowhead went unto the land of Carolina, and marched into the valley of the Panthers. And the army of Arrowhead was filled with the spirit after their victory over the horsemen of Denver. But the Panthers were afraid not of the army of Arrowhead. For the Panthers had read the commandments set forth from King Carl and the Worm Sperm and knew them.

And the greatest commandment was from King Carl and was written “Thou shalt have no other plan then the 5-year plan, for the plan is good.”
And the other commandments were from the Worm Sperm and were written “Thou shalt run twice before daring to fly.”
“Thou shalt dare not fly if thou has the advantage.”
“Thou shalt always kick when thou senses trouble.”

And the Panthers pounced on the army of Arrowhead from the ground and from the air, and feasted on them. And the chariot Johnson was destroyed by the Panther hoard. And the Worm Sperm anger against Prince Damon was rekindled. And his Croyle lust grew, but Croyle had not yet rested enough to lead the army of Arrowhead. So the Worm Sperm unleashed the Pigpen and had Prince Damon flogged. But the Pigpen stinketh, and the Worm Sperm was puzzled and perplexed and wandered the battlefield as if without his mind. And the army of Arrowhead was torn asunder until the Worm Sperm ordered its retreat.

And lo the scribes that wrote praises and tributes for King Carl and his harlot Worm Sperm were dumbfounded and afflicted for words. And the people, hearing of the humiliating defeat of the army of Arrowhead were seething in their anger against King Carl and his harlot Worm Sperm, and they cursed the false god Clark.

And the lord looked down upon the great tribulation that was the city of Arrowhead and said “Woe, Woe unto Arrowhead.” And the lord said unto me “Go and prophesy unto the people this warning. Tell the people that the lord sayeth the land of Arrowhead will not be blessed until the red blood of Arrowhead is drained away. The righteous must cover their heads in sackcloth to not look upon the evil that infects Arrowhead. And the righteous must not enter into the gates of Arrowhead and gave not their treasure to the idol Clark, for he and King Carl and the Worm Sperm have sinned a great sin.”

And then the lord spake this promise, “I hear the prayers of the righteous and am testing them. Verily I say the day of deliverance is coming. They that obey my words will store up much treasure. For I am preparing a great feast to celebrate the day King Carl and the Worm Sperm are cast out. And the righteous will enter a new kingdom and will be rewarded.”

Also, can we please stop waiting to use JC till the 2nd half?!?! The guy is fast. fast. fast. What happened to using both Tony and Cottom? I am so sick of this anemic offense. If you guys think about it I bet we can guess what the exact play that Herm is going to run 75% of the time! He is too predictable and he doesn’t have the OLine to play the way he wants to and he’s too stubborn to do anything else. I thought Chan was going to change things, but he hasn’t. Shock, it all comes back to the qb though doesn’t it?