Chiefs fans, it’s time to blast our opponent…the Carolina Panthers:
9. Dwayne Jarrett, also known as Mike Williams South.
8. Julius Peppers has ex-Panther Reggie White‘s talent. Too bad he has ex-Tarheal teammate Ryan Sim‘s work ethic.
7. Our cornerbacks do not get their asses beat down by 5-foot-9 Shetland pony receivers. Embarrassing.
6. Sloppy seconds, er, dirty thirds on Samie Parker. Now that’s embarrassing.
5. Jon Beason is a charter member of the 7th Floor Crew (warning: extreme vulgarity and language). Jon Beason, folks. What a shining beacon of class.
4. Dante Rosario was awesome in Week 1. Too bad he’s played about as well as Rosario Dawson could have ever since.
3. Growl Towel? Really? You know how I know you’re lame? You rip off lame-ass Steelers fans.
2. Don King is a Panthers fan.
1. Unless you count the late, great Reggie White for them, and I certainly don’t, the Panthers only Hall of Famers are these two.