Arrowhead Advantage: Dirty Turds

He definitely wasn’t Santa in the ATL, but maybe he’d be more jolly in K.C.

Ten Reasons Why the Chiefs are Cooler Than the Falcons:

10. As bad as our quarterbacks may be, at least they’re not redheads. (What’s that sound? Readership dropping 5%–whoops!)

9. Ovie Mughelli sounds like something you can test positive for.

8. One win over Detroit? Wow. The Lions are worse than we are.

7. You’ve got a Weiner and a Fudge on your team. You do the math.

6. Dominique Foxworth sounds like a hot girl’s name, not some Broncos‘ reject.

5. Bobby Petrino? Damn, and we thought Mike Solari’s promotion was a dumb move.

4. Birds fans are second to last in fan loyalty, while Chiefs fans are second overall (first in my mind).

3. Will Grady Jackson do us all a favor and officially change his first name to Gravy? Grady sounds like a grandma, and just look at dude eat.

2. Mike Vick, aka Ron Mexico, may be a felon with herpes, but he’s a helluva talent who will go down as a wasted No. 1 pick for the ATL. Meanwhile, if he comes to K.C., I’ll pull a McCain and declare that we’re all Georgians Mexicans!

1. Try having back-to-back winning seasons for once in your pathetic team’s history and then come talk to us.

(Since, hopefully, you’re already laughing, here’s something totally not related that will keep you rolling. Ocho Cinco’s Gmail got hacked!)