Ten Reasons Why the Chiefs Are Cooler Than the Raiders:
10. Our defensive coordinator isn’t afraid to blitz. Rob Ryan may drop F-bombs like Gunther Cunningham, but he runs his defense like a pansy.
9. Brodie Croyle may be frail, but at least he’s not fat. Yeah, I’m talking about you, Jamarcus Russell “Stover.”
8. Javon Walker had to get champagne popping out of his system this summer, because he’ll never get to do it as a Raider.
7. DeAngelo Hall, how does it feel to be washed up at the ripe old age of 24?
6. Silver and Black, how does it feel to wipe your asses with the $70 million you spent on a 24-year-old hasbeen?
5. Nnamdi Asomugha? Even the spelling bee whizkids can’t spell that one. No wonder he’s underrated; nobody can say his name, let alone spell it. Nnam-Nnam…name don’t matter when you play for the worst team in the league.
4. We don’t have an idiot Polak kicker. Sebastian Janikowski ‘s from Wałbrzych. Is that Polish or Snoop Doggenese?
3. Look at the bright side, Lane Kiffin. If you get canned maybe you can become Vice President. I hear the criteria isn’t what it used to be.
2. All-time head-to-head record: Chiefs 50, Faders 43. Face.
1. Both of our original owners have checked out, God bless their souls. Lamar Hunt left with his dignity, legacy and wits intact, while Al Davis is still propped up in the owner’s box Weekend at Bernie’s style. Might want to save some of that money you guys have been throwing away for the formaldehyde fund.