Ocho Cinco And Mr. Awesome: NFL Trumps The Law?

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Mr. Awesome, Ocho Cinco, Marion the Barbarian, Matty Ice

2008 has been the year of the nickname so far.

People love nicknames. You know who doesn’t love nicknames? Your mom and the NFL.

Chad Johnson going the hilarious “top that” extra mile of legally changing his name to Chad Ocho Cinco; the latest transgression that makes NFL commish Roger Goodell reach for the Advil. But hey, at least Ocho isn’t getting arrested daily like the rest of his Bengal brethren right? Either way, he has managed to be a burr in Goodell’s ass and raise interesting legal questions in the process.

It would be good for the NFL in spirit to lighten things up a bit. In an age of Fantasy Football, ludicrous contracts and stadium naming rights being sold to foreign firms; its nice to get a sideshow and entertainment to make us smile or wince. That being said, the NFL needs to make a policy before a bad precedent is set for future prima donna WR’s like KC’s own Dwayne Bowe aka Mr. Awesome.

The league has been cheapened enough by Spygate, Pacman arrests, and Bryant Gumbel doing games on the NFL Network. Do we, the fans, want headlines like these? The NFL absolutely does not.

Mr. Awesome Tops Ocho Cinco
Barbarian Slaughters Eagles with 5 TD’s
Beast Mode Rampages in New York
Megatron Transforms Lions’ Offense
Pacman Gobbles Up Interceptions

The No Fun League has “you know what” blocked Cinco’s (?) latest antic by saying he’s financially obligated to Reebok to the tune of $500K to buy all the old jerseys with C. Johnson on the back. Nice try No Fun League, but that is a horribly transparent and pathetic argument. Does Jared Allen have to buy all the old red 69 jerseys?

NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said, “(Cinco) has a financial obligation to Reebok, which produces the jerseys available to fans. That has to be resolved before the on-field jersey can be changed.”

(cough cough…”Bullshit!” cough cough)

“The same obligation exists for any player that changes his number or name,” Aiello said with his fingers crossed.

So, Roy Williams in Dallas was charged for changing his number? Farve isn’t buying all his old Green Bay jerseys, bet. Is the NFL going to bill Devin Hester for old “23″ jerseys when they make him change his number as per the rulebook?

Of course this all could be a smokescreen stall tactic for more production time of the Ocho Cinco jerseys in some factory in China because they are back-ordered already. Plus, if the jersey being worthless because of the name on the back is the issue, why not sew on an “Ocho Cinco” nameplate on the existing jerseys? Their argument has more holes than Raider defense.

Ocho Cinco should trademark the name Ocho Cinco and sue the NFL for $500k. When they finally allow him to go by his new name, then, buy all the old Johnson jerseys with that money, change them, and exchange them for fans who bought Johnson jerseys this year; and give the leftovers to the Salvation Army. I’m sure there are some kids in Cincy that will rock any Bengals jersey.

Reebok is in the midst of a 10-year, $250 million licensing agreement with the NFL which is what all this pushback from the NFL stems from. They can’t have Mr. Awesome and the rest of the nicknamed millionaires throwing their cash cow jersey system into upheaval. The NFL with Reebok need to wake up and realize they are sitting on a goldmine. They could have an entire line of signature “nickname jerseys” like the one pictured above. I’ll be expecting a bird-dog fee on them Reebok. By the way, since when are players responsible for bailing out apparel makers? Players get traded, retire and change numbers all the time. (See Michael Jordan #45.) Last time I checked, its risky to put any product in the marketplace.

Anyone with even just a few critical thinking skills can deduce from the “no celebrations” rule and now Ocho Cinco’s antics that the league does not want young black wide receivers and their antics to be the face of the league or the top story in the sports page on Monday. Is the NFL going to make up the rules as they go along and snub the laws of the United States?

NFL, this is karma for you. This is payback for the “no celebration” rule. If you take all the fun out of the circus the clowns are going to find a way to get your attention, even if you hate them.

A lot of people hate Chad Ocho Cinco, and other brash WR’s of their ilk. Mostly, those people fall into a few categories. They are either closet racists, or Mormons. The touchdown dance is as American as apple pie and the gamesmanship that goes on should be allowed for $100 bucks a ticket. T.O. went to the ground in a starting-block homage to Usain Bolt, and was promptly flagged. Apparently you can’t go to the ground in celebration anymore either.

This isn’t about Chad Cinco, or T.O. or Mr. Awesome, TD dances or jerseys. It’s about the Almighty NFL wanting to control its image, please its corporate bedmates, and keep its iron fist drew back; ready to strike. Does this keep the NFL from becoming the NBA or is it inevitable that the proverbial inmates will eventually run the asylum? (please don’t read too much into that reference) The fans should speak up and say if a player cannot change his name, then the league has to stop renaming our stadiums.

We are about to get the answer to the following questions. Has it come to this?

Has the NFL become so powerful that it trumps the law?

Tags: Barbarian, Bowe, Bryant Gumbel, Chad Johnson, China, Fantasy Football, Goodell, jared allen, law, megatron, mr. awesome, NBA, NFL, Ocho Cinco, Pac-Man, pacman, reebok, Spygate, touchdown dance, Usain Bolt

Navi

Wow this is written tremendously well and you've convinced me to never buy another piece of NFL merchandise. Good work.

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Sudden

The NFL can do whatever the hell it damn well pleases as far as I'm concerned, and I'm glad they're gonna make Chad Mucho Ego responsible for the name change on the jerseys in order to let him sport it. He's such a punk ass diva that it literally makes me sick. At least T.O. and Moss have earned the right to wear a "Future Hall of Famer" jacket because they will be (although they've come around in their older age and become more respectible team players). Moss and T.O. stand up for their QB, Chad Mucho Ego can't bare the thought of standing up for anyone other than himself. He is a selfish, whiny, punk. Its certainly not a race thing: If Wes Welker did the same crap I'd be hammering him too. Chad Mucho Ego won't EVER be a hall of famer. He's not even the best receiver on his team.

Dave(Playaction31)

Yeah - it gets ugly sometimes.

Anyways, happy "Raider Hater" week to everyone. Lookin for Win #1 this week - if we lose this one it's going to be a long year!

Adam

I agree. Just look at all the mudslinging from McCain that Mitt Romney stood up to.

Don't worry about the comments on Mormons - we have thicker skin than that.

Lots of babies, different women...maybe!

jester

Is Travis Henry a Mormon?

One point on Mormons. They celebrate babymaking and, sometimes, polygamy. Play on player. Maybe they are more like some of the diva receivers than we originally thought. Just wanted to point out that our friends at the Church of Latter Day Saints are actually pretty hip.

Crane

Merlin-

You ...person with a cat picture..

I never said it was illegal for the league to charge him for the jerseys, I just think its crap and another way for the No Fun League to keep its stars in check.

If I was Roger Goodell perhaps I would see things differently about how my product is represented on the field and in the media. I wonder if Brett Farve wanted to change his name and number if there would be this backlash.

Because, you know, both the NFL and Reebok are so strapped for cash :)

Good work, Crane. You're definitely the Hunter S. Thompson of the Addict. Maybe Kenny Mayne. Gonzojournalism. Love it!

merlinnj

Crane you ignorant slut (I have been waiting to use that line) The charge to Ocho Stinko for changing his name is legal. Other players have been hit with similar charges for number changes

"In 2007, Raiders receiver Jerry Porter was told that he couldn’t change his number from 84 to 81 without forking over $210,000 to cover the costs of unsold jerseys. Last week, rookie linebacker Keith Rivers bought the unsold inventory of jerseys with his prior number (58) so that he could change to his desired number, 55." h/t profootballtalk

Ocho Stinko can change his name to whatever he wants. However, if he wants to wear a uniform with said name, he has to be prepared to pay, per the marketing agreement between the NLF/NFLPA and Reebock. Yes, it is legal.

writers note-

I come down on both sides of the issue, but obviously some of this was tongue in cheek, grain of salt...etc.
Apologies to our Church of Latter Day Saints Addicts.

dakotadave

The fact that Chad Johnson is a moron doesn't make me a racist. And I'm sure there are a few Mormon AA readers out there that are thrilled about being lumped in with that racist comment.

Having to give yourself a cool nickname should be the first clue that your trying way too hard to make people like you. (McLuvin' ring any bells?)

BucktheFroncos

First of all let me start by saying that was an excellent bit of writing. I was with you all the way until you said...

"A lot of people hate Chad Ocho Cinco, and other brash WR’s of their ilk. Mostly, those people fall into a few categories. They are either closet racists, or Mormons."

Huh? Hopefully their are other catagories we fall into because neither of those represent me. I hate "brash WR's" because of the attitude most of them have. If they are truly as talented as most of them profess to be, they shouldn't have to resort to Jr High antics and dances to get noticed. There is a long list of quality HOF wide-outs that didn't feel the need to carry Sharpies and gold jackets around to have people acknowledge their success. No, my disgust is not based on their color or my religous beliefs. Just the fact that most of them act like spoiled teenagers instead of the responsible professionals.

Double D

I don't collect sports memorabilia but I would venture to guess that things signed by Cassius Clay bring more than things signed by Muhammad Ali. I'm pretty sure Reebok won't have too much trouble unloading their stock of Johnson 85 "throwback" apparel and then enjoy a second motherload with novelty jerseys. Good read. Good points.

KCMizzou

Excellent.

TheKansagonian

A powerful passionate argument for NFL sanity in an endlessly insane world. It is as disturbing as, yes, this Obama/McCain choice of ours. I read today where each of the NFL teams were worth at least 1 billion dollars! Do the math, amazing. Even McCain can change the times of games in the NFL so people can hear his snoring speeches.
Keep up the excellent writing, it makes your site the best in the city, surely this part of the country, props to all the contributors.