Ten Reasons Why the Chiefs are Cooler Than Da Bears:
10. Our players don’t go all Alec Baldwin on people in text messages. Brian Urlacher, I’m looking at you.
9. Who pays Devin Hester a bajillion dollars to be their No. 1 WR? A desperate, desperate Jerry Angelo, that’s who.
8. The failed Cedric Benson project was more recent than the failed Ryan Sims one.
7. Lance Briggs getting his “drive” back isn’t a good thing.
6. Greg Olsen. Looks like He-Man, plays like She-Ra. He’s no Tony Gonzalez.
5. Brandon Lloyd and Kevin Jones were the big offseason additions? I wouldn’t have those guys on my fantasy team if I were in a 20-team league.
4. Will Ricky Manning Jr. have more arrests or picks this year? Tough call. Very tough.
3. Rex Grossman.
2. Kyle “Neckbeard” Orton is their starting quarterback? No wonder Rex is still on the roster.
1. Bears fans can’t even tailgate? So much for being Superfans.