Here’s my breakdown, er, beat down of our AFC West rivals:
We were also interested in OT Ryan Clady, until we saw that he basically tanked his Wonderlic. He actually would have scored a 14 on the test instead of 13, but he spelled his last name with two “Ds” accidentally.
As for their receiving corps, what a mess. Darrell Jackson? That guy could drop a newborn baby in the delivery room. Keary Colbert? He hardly played in Carolina even when Steve Smith was hurt? Brandon Stokley? He had one good game–Thanksgiving day about four years ago. Must have been white boy day. Brandon Marshall? Hopefully there won’t be any McDonald’s bags on the field this season–I’m lovin’ it! Samie Parker? After watching him screw up for us for years, this will be a nice change. I wouldn’t trade Dwayne Bowe for the whole lot.
Is it just me, or does Jay Cutler look like he has Down syndrome? He did carve us up last year a little bit, though. That might be more difficult without Travis Henry around. I think ol’ Horse Face, aka Mike Shanahan, took analysts who say the Broncos can just put anyone back there a little too literally. I’m actually hoping they have as bad of a season as I’m expecting and ownership cans his ass.
The Bottom Line: The Broncos aren’t any better than us.
Despite how good Broncos and Chargers fans think their respective teams are, this is the only AFC West squad that has made a Super Bowl appearance since the dawn of the new Millennium. Too bad they’ve won like a dozen games since. Is spending a bajillion dollars on Javon Walker and Tommy Kelly really going to get the Crypt Keeper and his boy wonder coach back to the Promised Land? I don’t think so.
I do like Run DMC, but if Lane Kiffin is Robin, JaMarcus Russell is Fatman. Did he eat Daunte Culpepper? Now they’ve signed Greg Wesley? Were they trying to one-up the Broncos on the pathetic Parker signing? What’s next, the Bolts signing Kendrell Bell? I do like Nnamdi Asomugha, but it pisses me off that I have to look up his name every time. I also do like DeAngelo Hall, but not for a quarter of the U.S. defecit. You’ve got to give it to Al, however, he ain’t trying to take any of that money with him when he checks out. Not that I admire how he’s spent his change, but I do admire owners who aren’t frugal. I’ll give him that.
The Bottom Line: At least one Chiefs’ win, if not two.
They bitch and bitch and bitch about Marty Schottenheimer, then go out and sign…Norv Turner? That’s like bitching about Cuba Gooding Jr.’s acting only to replace him with L.L. Cool J. WTF? Marty, if Carl does end up getting canned, his office has your name on it. As far as I’m concerned, anyway.
As a KSU fan, I love me some Darren Sproles. But isn’t L.T. a bit of a crybaby? None of that on my fantasy team, even though he did win it all for me once. Not seeing Michael Turner over on the sidelines will be nice, but I’m not sure Sproles isn’t better, especially with back-up touches. I’m actually thinking L.T. might get hurt this year. Not that I’d wish that on anybody, but every running back has to visit the M*A*S*H unit eventually. Even him.
As for the defense, San Diegians better hope that those guys are taking their Vitamin S again. After all, Luis Castillo just got a huge raise, and they wouldn’t want to see Shawne Merriman get punked by a little guy like MJD again. That was embarrassing, son. Is Vincent Jackson finaly going to break out this year? Yeah? Really? I almost actually believe you this time.
The Bottom Line: Sure, they’ll be good. But I’ll thoroughly enjoy watching them get bounced by New England in the playoffs–again.
Let’s go ahead and have you Addicts dogpile on and add insult to injury in the comments thread! Go Chiefs!
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Tags: AFC West, denver broncos, kansas city chiefs, Oakland Raiders, San Diego Chargers







