Zach e-mailed me this post — “I’m Not Even A Fetus Yet, But I Already Hate The Kansas City Chiefs” — a little while ago from Kissing Suzy Kolber. Sometimes I like their stuff, occassionally even laughing out loud. Other times, I’m not as big of a fan. Ocassionally, I surf away from that site shaking my head and saying, those dudes have some serious, serious deep-rooted problems. Today was one of those days.
Outside of being a Broncos, Chargers or Raiders fan, how can any real football fan actually hate the Chiefs? Especially “a seven-week old embryo?” We haven’t won jack since 1969, yet we still boast arguably the best fans in the NFL. It would be like hating the Cleveland Browns or something. Just ridiculous. Here’s an excerpt:
I realize I’m not even a fetus yet, but I already hate the Kansas City Chiefs. I realized it right off the bat; there’s no chance I’ll ever think two shits of this organization. Their team is boring, their uniforms are boring, and their city might as well be named Bordopolis. Did you like that? I came up with that yesterday.
Considering I was in Kansas City when I was not even a fetus yet, and was born a Chiefs fan in St. Luke’s hospital in K.C. on December 18, 1978, yeah, I take offense. I hope they slap that ass extra hard when you come out, you little shit. Oh well, he’s obviously pre-destined to be a Dallas Cowboys fan anyway.
Oh, and what’s wrong with our uniforms? They are classic. I love our unis. And Bordopolis? He better work on his material before he gets to grade school. I reckon he’d get his ass kicked for saying something like that on the playground.
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Here’s my wish – when the little bastard pops out, his attending nurse is a Chief’s fan and just so happens to have a little Bryant’s “mouthrinse” on hand with which to wash out his nasty little mouth.
Adam – classic line…
“I hope they slap that ass extra hard when you come out, you little shit.”
I laughed out loud when I read this. Love it!
Thanks. When you make a jester laugh out loud, you know you are having a good day!
A fetus really got you that worked up?
I like our uniforms too though. I don’t want them to change; however, I do kind of want us to try out some black jerseys occasionally. Those would look badass.
I really wasn’t that worked up. Just having a little fun with it
I don’t know about the black, though. The Raiders wear black, so it is sort of taboo. I don’t think gold would work either. I think it might just feel like cheating to wear anything else but red besides neutral white. This is going to have to be a future A.A.D.Q. Should the Chiefs have an alternate black jersey.
Have you seen the ones for sail from the official site? They look pretty nice.
Black jerseys, red numbers, gold trim.
I think we could do that for at least one game -even a pre-season game- and see how the uniforms are received.. I’m not a huge fan of the black myself, but a little change never hurt anyone, and they’d be going purely on fan reaction whether to bring them back or not.
I used to have a Tony G one. It did look cool, real cool, but I don’t know about the Chiefs officially wearing them. I don’t even know what happened to it. Damn.
We’ll have to ask everybody.
The Bears orange sometimes, and the Giants wear red. It’s weird, yeah, but it’s different and refreshing. Black jerseys could be the same thing for the Chiefs. I’d like to see them featured in at least one home game.
That’s a good point–I do love the Giants’ and Bears’ alternate unis, and they have as much tradition as we do (actually, both teams have been around longer). I think it’s just the purist in me, maybe. The other thing is, I don’t want to dilute the Sea of Red any. I would be up for one game a year for sure. Hell, why not? Arrowhead would still be predominantly red, and it would give our new, young team a new feel heading into the future.
The one game idea is a pretty good idea. Why wouldn’t Carl and Co. be up for it? It’s more jerseys to sell.
I read that article 3 times and I didn’t get it. Why was T.J. Howdoyouspellhislastnamemanzadah in the womb? Does he also dislike the Chiefs?
Suzy,
No kidding–T.J.’s inclusion really didn’t make much sense. I think the article was actually a cry for help. The author is obviously addicted to crack. The embryo is symbolic of his inner child screaming for help. That is the only way I can make any sense of it at all.