NextRound.net put out a pretty hilarious list in response to Tony Gonzalez‘s recent Heimlich heroics. The list was made up of NFL players who probably would leave you hanging if you were about to kick the bucket. I especially enjoyed having a laugh at the expense of two of our favorite assclowns from AFC West rival teams:
Brandon Marshall - He’s busy trying to protect himself from fast food wrappers. You would be on your own.
Javon Walker - How’s he supposed to save you when he wouldn’t even remember how he got there?
I was a little disappointed about Shawne Merriman not making the list. Then again, steroids probably make him more likely to save lives. I can see Steroid Shawne getting all crazy on the Vitamin S and going all Incerdible Hulk on us. He might have broken poor Ken Hunter’s ribs if he was at the restaurant instead of Tony G, though. Roid rage!