The Landry Hat Gets Four Pinocchios
Oh, hell no! They went Disney on us? Well, an eye for an eye, baby. And at least we’re tying our images in, adding a little insult to the image. Peter Pan? Cinderella? No explanation? WTF? Sweet imagination. Walt would be ashamed of you. Speaking of images, instead of bringing a knife to a gunfight, that effort is kind of like a retarded kid bringing MS Paint to a Photoshop showdown. Hey, he tried. We do more than try around these parts.
Now, the Pinocchio/Jiminy Cricket reference isn’t because most Cowboys fans are fairweather coattail riders that jumped on board during either the golden Landry years or The Triplets era. It’s a reference to the straight up whoppers the lead blogger of The Landry Hat, Dan T., has been telling.
Whopper No. 1: Marion Barber, at this point and time, is better than Larry Johnson.
Reality: The stats in no way, shape or form support that. L.J. has consistently been a top-five rusher since taking over for Priest Holmes, and the statistics support that. Easily. Barber has never recorded a 1,000-yard or 20-touchdown season, and last year he couldn’t even beat out Julius Jones. Barber is a fine player, but he isn’t nearily as accomplished or feared at this juncture.
Whopper No. 2: Jason Witten, at this point and time, is better than Tony Gonzalez.
Reality: Witten has never topped Gonzalez head-to-head in catches or yards in any of his five seasons. Dan has tried to compare the way they began their careers to say Witten is/has been the better player, which makes about as much since as an asshole on an elbow, but I digress. There is no reasoning with this guy. This argument has absolutely no merit.
We have no choice but to implement the Washington Post’s “Pinocchio Test” as a result of these fantastic whoppers, and give Dan T. a score of FOUR PINOCCHIOS for his tall tale shenanigans. Congrats to The Landry Hat! You are flushing blogger credibility down the toilet with each post. Appreciate that.
You got played like a puppet, son. Don’t make us go Dumbo on that ass.
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Witten better than Tony G?
I read that about 4000 times and i still can’t reason it in my head. He’s crazy, seriously, we need to just lock him in a room with padding and leave him alone
June 9th, 2008 at 1:44 amMore like fisted like a puppet.
June 9th, 2008 at 2:18 amWhat an idiot.
June 9th, 2008 at 3:13 amHe’s just trying to start crap between us because we actually post and he wants site traffic to get revenue. Notice how there are only a couple of Dallas fans, a couple of Redskin fans, and alot of Chiefs fans?
Yep, publicity stunt. I think TO is rubbing off on the homers. You know, because he demands that he drops so many balls/game.
June 9th, 2008 at 7:52 amSAINT, sorry but my site is historically one of the most visited in the network. Try again. Try again.
I backed up my opinions with facts. Comparing Witten’s and Tony’s first five years (Come on!! Witten hasn’t played 11 damn years so I can only compare their first five seasons, because if you think Witten will get worse, then, well, you all need help) is the fairest way to do it.
Need traffic? You dinks.
June 9th, 2008 at 9:14 amHonestly its really really funny to claim Witten is better than TG…mostly because by pure stats, Gonzo is better, and if you care about blocking, which I do, Gonzo is MUCH better, add in that hes a team leader, and can have a good season with anyone behind center, and there is no case…
I am not a huge LJ fan, but to claim Barber is better at this point is kinda funny…Barber has issues holding the football and honestly hes not near the pure runner that LJ is, however LJ cant block or catch, I think Barber has the potential to be better, but would need to be the featured back for 16 games to get the label as better than LJ…
Yes, the Boys have had a much better run since 1990, however that isnt the point, we are comparing Witten to Gonzo, LJ to Barber, and honestly Winslow/Gates are both more complete TE’s, and I can name off about 10-12 backs at the talent level or better than Barber…Shall we? LJ/LT/Ronnie Brown/Marshawn Lynch/Maroney/Parker/Jackson/Westbrook/AP/Addai…thats 11 RB’s better than Barber, and I havent even named off all of em.
June 9th, 2008 at 10:29 amComparing Witten to Gonzalez is stupid, PERIOD. Saying Witten is better than T-Gon is ridiculous in any aspect. Tony might be on the tail-end of his career, but he’s still the best TE in the league until he retires. He is the epidomy of a complete TE, something no other team has. You stirring up this controversy tells me one of two things:
1)You’re stupid
2)You’re site isn’t getting alot of hits lately so you’re making your own “news” up to blog about.
Frankly, I’m going with 1) and 2).
June 9th, 2008 at 10:41 amKC
June 9th, 2008 at 10:44 amBarber is the hardest back to take down in the NFL period. 95 percent of the time it takes more than one or two guys to take him down. He has fumbled 6 times and did not loose any of them. I have no problem with a guy fumbling cuse hes trying to grind for extra yards and especially if we recover it. Notice that all the backs that you think are better than BARBER are all STARTERS and had way over 204 attempts.
That is the point. Thanks for making it. Marion couldn’t win the starting job and they just used a 1st round pick on a RB. You don’t see the Chargers drafting running backs in the first round, do you?
June 9th, 2008 at 10:47 amAddicts go vote for Tony:
http://fansided.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=75&t=470&start=0
June 9th, 2008 at 10:48 amZach you dont see anyone comparing Barber to Tomlinson do you so give it a rest. Oh and Barber did win the Starting Job that happened the end of last year. And we run a dual back system which requires 2 RB so that answers your question. Didnt the Steelers pick up Mendenhall with thier first when they have Willie Parker.
June 9th, 2008 at 11:13 amGreat running backs force their coach out of a 2 back system. So again a weak argument.
The last time I checked Willie Parker has been in the league a bit longer and is coming off a broken right fibula injury. Also Willie Parker isn’t in most peoples top 10.
Dan and the other guys at least bring it, but everything I have read from you is embarrassing.
June 9th, 2008 at 11:28 amOne more thing LJ was a starter for only half a season and you don’t see us bitching about being in a 2 back system and not being able to get 1,000 yards.
June 9th, 2008 at 11:29 amIM not bitching becasue we Win. Yea i guess my facts are embarrassing to you.
June 9th, 2008 at 11:34 amZach
June 9th, 2008 at 11:51 amAll you keep doing is comparing Barber to Tomlnson. And your saying what iv said is embarassing? We dont need a Tomlinson to Win Games you moron, Were a Pass Offense and WIN Games with Barber. So you can say all your crap about how great backs force thier coaches out of a two back system, but if you dont Win then whats the point.
Just curious what have you won in the last 10 years? Neither team has won a playoff game in that time span. Here are the records in the last 10 years:
Chiefs: 80-80
Cowboys: 80-80
June 9th, 2008 at 11:56 amWhat have you won with Barber? Romo? TO? Oh yah thats right you helped in the Giants and Eli Manning a Championship
June 9th, 2008 at 11:57 amAnd the Parker comment was towards KCPOLLARD becasue he feels that Parker is better than Barber and then Zach comments about why did the cowboys draft a RB with thier first pick if Barbers so good. So I say if Parker is better than Barbr why did they draft a Rb with thier First rounder? Hmm maybe depth.
June 9th, 2008 at 11:59 amOH AND ZACH Willie Parker has only been playing 1 year longer than Barber so do some research before you start making “embarassing” comments
He is 3 years older and has a broken right fibula injury under his belt. Again you make my point for me
If the Steelers felt he was fine and could handle the load of a #1 back they wouldn’t have selected Mendenhall. Get out of here before you embarrass yourself anymore…
June 9th, 2008 at 12:03 pmGo pull your string somewhere else Cowboy…
June 9th, 2008 at 12:08 pmZach
Haha good one, What was your record last year becsue I didnt even see a highlight of a chiefs game. hmm maybe cuse there were none. O and 32nd in the league in Rushing. Thast what happens when your superstar running back goes down, who “forced” his coach out of the dual back system and now look what happened. Thats why it pays off to have a dual back system
June 9th, 2008 at 12:09 pmWow you relly are Nerd.
June 9th, 2008 at 12:14 pm“Wow you relly are Nerd”
Nice comment…
June 9th, 2008 at 12:16 pmBottom of the Division it must have sucked knowing your season was over halfway through the season man no wonder you guys are so good at posting Toy Story and Disney Pictures.
June 9th, 2008 at 12:19 pmBut on a serious note you guys should try to get your money back.
Funny thing is Dan started the Disney pics, so go talk to him….
June 9th, 2008 at 12:20 pmhaha “nice commnet” you posted a damn woody doll and told me to pull my string somewhere else.
June 9th, 2008 at 12:20 pmThats how i know your gay
Besides being a Gay Nerd, I gotta respect your homerism, you gotta understand were used to arguing with skins,eagles,and Giants fans, it always turns into whos team has the most crimnals, or Which QB is gay, or who has the hottest girlfrend on the team. And then shortly followed by death threats and suicides
June 9th, 2008 at 12:26 pmWow, insulting me like a middle school kid would. Mad props to you….
June 9th, 2008 at 12:28 pmYou know how I know you are gay?
Because you spell and write like Lennie from Of Mice and Men.
Seriously, TD, you are in way over your head here.
And something I always like to bring up is that fans don’t fucking play the games. I have to remind Cowboys and Steelers fans and the likes of that sometimes.
So, considering we haven’t won a Super Bowl in nearly four decades yet have the best attendence in the league, wouldn’t that give us bragging rights as the league’s best fans? I think so.
Go suck on Wade Phillips man-boobs some more, cretin. Your arguments were disgraceful.
June 9th, 2008 at 12:32 pmMore like VDCowboys. You’re like a venereal disease–we can’t get rid of your slimey ass! Get outta here! Go back to the depths from which you came, also called TLH.
June 9th, 2008 at 12:36 pmAgain picking on the grammar maybe I should work on that. Im gonna go Cry because the Nfls Worst Team but “greatest” fans(its the only thing they have so ill give it em) called me a VD an told me to suck manboobs.Hey Zach what grade does that insult come from.
June 9th, 2008 at 12:48 pmAdam wat kinda VD did you get thats slimey, you gotta stop messin with those Inbred hookers man seriously.
Inbred hookers. Huh, I saw a couple of those driving through Oklahoma on my way to Austin. I think they were actually closer to the Texas border. Anyway, sorry about the tears. I’m sure Dan will be a good shoulder to cry on. And keep taking credit for what happens on the field. You have a lot to do with that success, buddy!
June 9th, 2008 at 12:57 pmTHIS JUST IN:
TONY ROMO IS BETTER THAN TOM BRADY AND PEYTON MANNING COMBINED AND TO OWNS RANDY MOSS.
June 9th, 2008 at 12:58 pmIlove when idiots try to make claims about statistics when they obviously haven’t looked at them.
“Tony was the only receiving option on your team!”
-OK. Then why did we have one or two receivers with nearly identical or more yards than him in ‘02, ‘03, ‘04, and ‘05? Why did Eddie Kennison have back to back 1000 yard seasons if there was no one else to throw to? Bitch please.
“But look at last year!”
-Uh, Dwayne Bowe? Nearly 1000 yard season.
It’s funny how these Cowguys think they’re all BAMF compared to the Chiefs who are in full blown rebuilding mode.
June 9th, 2008 at 12:59 pmBut seriously guys, give those Cowboys fans and their leather assless chaps a break. They can’t help it. I think it’s something in the Texas air. The same something that causes groups like the Republic of Texas and polygamist cults.
They’re all a bunch of fucking delusional weirdos and there’s really no sense in messing with them anymore.
June 9th, 2008 at 1:02 pmHow am i in over my head, (besides not taking the time to spell properly) Your one of the worst Teams in football, you wont be good for awhile. I dont care how loyal you are that wont stop people from hating on your team. Zach you used a quote on TLH “As Ric Flair says”, “You gotta beat the man, to be the man.” So until you guys do better than last in you division the only thing you have to talk about is Grammar corrections and Telling people to suck boobs.
IISaintII are we talking about nearlys or actuall stats. If you guys wanna bitch abut how Barber didnt rush for 1000yds when he was 25yds short the dont throw “Nearly 1000yds out there” When Bowe didn have 1000yds receiving. Ya kinda petty dont ya think
June 9th, 2008 at 1:09 pmGreat point! D-Bo had more yards receiving as a rookie than Barber had rushing last year. Wow, thanks, VD.
Keep taking credit for the on-field success, man. You, T.O. and Tony together can go all the way–to the Promised Land! Maybe you could hold on extra points or something. Nevermind, you guys are pretty good at executing those.
June 9th, 2008 at 1:21 pmMan you have short term memory. We went to the playoffs just two years ago and we weren’t last in our division.
Your grammar is terrible, but I will stop picking on you because I know kids with learning disabilities.
Well it is a bit different to, considering Bowe is a WR and he was a rookie. Barber only had 538 yards rushing his rookie year. So maybe Bowe is better than Barber too considering the way you Cowboys fans compare statistics.
June 9th, 2008 at 1:24 pmNo, not petty. Rushing and receiving are totally different things. But if you insist on using this comparison… Marion Barber was 25 yards short, you say? Dwayne Bowe was 5 yards short. And, despite your team being ’so badass’ you havn’t won a playoff game since adding these ‘awesome, superstar Offensive players.’ You’ve got a good line, good WR’s, including one star, a ‘beast’ you say, for a TE *snicker*, Tony throwing ‘accurate super-well-thrown balls’ and a dual back system that is flawless, including a ‘top 5′ back in the league in Barber… and you’re talking trash. And yet we both havn’t won a playoff game in that time frame. For all your talks about winning, look at both of our regular season, and post season records, since you guys last went to the super bowl. Go ahead, add up the results, double check them with a calculator, and get back to me. For one, I’m interested on if you can count, let alone comprehend addition. For two, you’re going to provide ample proof that while you think you’re better than us, you’re sadly mistaken, and we STILL have the better fans, which you already admitted. All-in-all, it will be a good day.
June 9th, 2008 at 1:31 pmis a team not allowed to rebuild? Honestly I’d rather be where we are now than where we were…The Gonzo argument is weak, and if all you have to pick out of the 11 backs I named, which by the way, was just the first 11 teams I thought of, is willie parker, then your argument for barber is weak…D-bo had more yards than he did, and we had the worst o-line possibly in team history…every team rebuilds, but at least with our past draft it shows improvement, Barber is a 2 system back at best, hes good, but hes not great, and has not shown he can go 16 games and take a pounding all season…when he can, return with your weak argument, since by then LJ will be out of a chiefs uniform. Notice most people differ on opinion on the ability of RB’s…this is no different…when it comes to witten…please…thats just insane…Gonzo is the best ever, and still is putting up league high numbers.
June 9th, 2008 at 1:39 pmAdam: has your slimey VD altered your brain. You keep posting stuff like Im taking credit for the team or that I play for the Team. I dont really know what your getting at.
Zach: If u wanna talk about he past then maybe we can talk about the 90’s.
XXXLP:No trash talking here just e telling you that the Cowboys are Better than the Chiefs im pretty sure thats a fact. And to keep bringing playoff losses up is a broken record, I believe you, were in the same boat. And yes i do give it to you fans but youll never convince me your teams better or that your a more loyal fan than I am to my team. Thats just how that one goes
P.S I have an ol Acer labtop ad my keys always jam so that is a big reason why my grammar is terrible I apolagize
June 9th, 2008 at 1:45 pmThe Dallas having a great line doesnt stick very well becasue Barber led the league in Broken tackles and most of that came from behind the line.And him making simthing out of nothing. You guys keep bringing up Barber Like I said he was the Best RB in the NFL. All im doing is defending the fact that he had a great year last year (pro bowl) And I belive he will have a even better year this year. Theres no reason why he shouldnt, hell still be in a dual back system but have more carries.
June 9th, 2008 at 1:54 pmGuys, Marion Barber’s keys always jam and that’s a big reason why he can’t rush for 1000 yards in a season. He “apolagizes”.
TDCowboys, admit defeat, take your ball, and go home. No one ever said the Chiefs have a better team than the Cowboys right now, but they’ve had the same production in the past decade and boast a superior TE and RB. You have the better QB and WR so just quit while your ahead and give up.
June 9th, 2008 at 2:04 pmyou’re*.
God dammit.
June 9th, 2008 at 2:05 pmHe didn’t even break 1,000 yards.. how could he have been the best RB in the league? Yes, he had a great year, and he has the POTENTIAL to be better than anyone in the league (truly amazing 2 yard run against the Patsies) but seriously.. And the fact that he led the league in broken tackles means about nothing.. Adrian Peterson would have done the same, but he was too busy running PAST the defenders than through them. If you’d like to see broken tackles, take a look at LT. Google LaDanian stiff arm highlights, and watch the art form that is his tackle-shedding machine for an arm. And if you want to praise Barber for his ‘making something out of nothing’ skill, then please take a peek at highlights from the Week 17 Cincinatti vs. Kansas City game, 2006. 200+ yards, and most of them are on his own. I’m not saying LJ is the best in the league, I’m saying he’s better than The Barbarian, AT THIS POINT IN TIME. LJ may break down and be useless, we don’t know this. Barber could have a breakout year and rush for 2,000 yards, we don’t know that either. We go by what has happened. And what has happened is, LJ had a couple monsters seasons, including one with only 9 starts, and still topped 1,000 yards, quite easily. If he does the same, or better, then yes, I’ll admit it, he officially would pass LJ as a beast, but until then.. LJ’s still better. I am growing weary of this debate though.. I suppose you could link it to a sort of ‘mental raping’.. It’s not fair when someone stronger (in this aspect, smarter) takes advantage of someone. So instead of continuing, I’ll leave you with a popular gaming reference, that you may or may not get, but that will make me chuckle. You’ve just been Pwned. Hard.
June 9th, 2008 at 2:09 pmATTENTION ALL CHIEF FANS
Seanbecool commited a grammar error!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As chiefs fans you pride yourselves on perfect spelling and Photoshop skills. Though now having one of you own misspell a word is crimial. I thought you guys were better than that.
No we have a better Team,Im serious, I wouldnt lie to you guys,
June 9th, 2008 at 2:17 pmXXXLP your doing it again. Your making stuff up and saying that I said stuff that you make up and add in just so you can type. My post above says “You guys keep bringing up Barber Like I said he was the Best RB in the NFL” And then you say
“We go by what has happened. And what has happened is, LJ had a couple monsters seasons, including one with only 9 starts, and still topped 1,000 yards, quite easily.” by XXXLP
Ok if we go by “what has happened” then you will see Barber had a Better year and went to the pro bowl. and L.J watched from the sidelines
June 9th, 2008 at 2:24 pmLJ’s impact 4-4(and top of the AFC west) with him and 0-8 afterwards. I don’t think that’d happen with the cowboys and marion… That’s what happens when great players get hurt, their team goes to shit. What would the chargers be like without LT? What would happen if the cowboys lost MG? NOthing, they’d still be playing in a weaker NFC and still win games..but we were actually in the playoff hunt with LJ carrying the load.
June 9th, 2008 at 2:36 pmI’m surprised you VD cow girls haven’t compared Willie Roaf to Flozell Adams…no contest….right? With this homerism I’m not sure what your answer would be..but the correct one is that Willie Roaf is one of the greatest LT’s to ever play the game.
Also, it’s an unfair assumption to compare TG’s first five years vs. Witten’s five years. When TG was in the league, the whole “pass catching TE” was a very new concept….however if you compare the last five years….then you’d have a more reliable indicator of “greatness” although stats are a horrible thing to base that off of as you can manipulate stats…but yes, even comparing TG to Jason Witten is an insult to Tony’s illustrious career with Kansas city. Perhaps here’s a question we should ask: Who will be a first ballot Hall of Famer? Not Jason Witten…
I didn’t say that he didn’t do better than LJ last year- he did. I’m sure there were games where Witten also did better than Gonzo. Over their careers, however, both TG and LJ have proved they are men among boys, whereas I would classify Witten and Barber as Teens among boys. They are good, but they aren’t quite at the status of where our guys are. You do have a better team. You keep bringing that up. No flaming on that part- you guys are better. We are rebuilding, and have alot of work to do before we a serious playoff contender then. We could possibly squeak in, but it’s unlikely. However- we still pwn you in the RB/TE catagory.
And a few grammatical errors in a post are usually typo’s, not actual errors. When you make 50-60 in one post, generally, it’s because of a lack of intelligence. So let’s not even try to bring that argument back, shall we not? Just admit that you’re both slightly less intelligent, and a little less grammatically inclined, say that your team is better than ours, but that our RB and TE have proven to be bigger stars up to this point, and let’s be done with this.
June 9th, 2008 at 2:38 pmL.J. had almost more yards in a nine-start season (just shy of 1,800) than Barber has for his entire career. This is just the weakest shit ever. Man, xxxlp, seanbcool and the crew are just handling you, VD.
This is what happens when you step to Chiefs fans, especially here at the Addict. It’s nothing personal, it’s just that we’re the best fans in the league and take pride in that shit. Now, go get a new keyboard for you and Marion.
June 9th, 2008 at 2:39 pmOMG, this has to be the worst commenter execution ever. Just quit.
June 9th, 2008 at 2:46 pmLOL Adam know the stats,and you havnt said one thing worth reading. I never said he was overall a better back than L.J. But a good RB/TE is all you have so im trying to have a debate based on those areas. XXXLP I dont wanna hear anything about intelligence when half your blogs are made up of your own speculation and distored facts. You think your the best fans cuse you stick with your team through Good or Bad,and you go to games. Well hate to burst your bubble but thats wht fans are supposed to do and thats what I do. What about true Lions Fans huh what are they? They dont even know what to win means, yet they stick to thier team every year. So let the fan thing go
June 9th, 2008 at 2:55 pmYou should listen to Adam fellas just quit.
June 9th, 2008 at 2:56 pmAre you ignorant, or suffer from an extra chromosomal malfunction, ie down syndrome? We post on here to share our thoughts, and debate topics. Correct? Yes, thought so. I do apologize, I didn’t start out arguing against you, rather, I was targeting MBIII’s, and TLH’s posts, and you just happened to comment. Most of what I say is for the trio of you in general, not just you. Don’t believe you’re that important, sorry, it’s not the case. Secondly, don’t insult my intelligence when your sentence that contains the jib at my intelligence has grammatical errors. That hurts yourself, not me. Just a friendly tip there. We are not great fans just because of the facts you stated; we are probably the most knowledgable fan base when it comes to football related topics, history of the game, and other teams. We have a deep rooted history in the NFL thanks to Lamar, may he R.I.P.
June 9th, 2008 at 3:12 pmThe only reason your fans could even be considered great is because of past contributions that helped coin them ‘America’s Team’, and as such, draws plenty of publicity, thereby drawing in more fans daily, that are just getting into football, and like to jump on the bandwagon. Where were all the Cowboys’ fans when you weren’t getting anywhere with Carter, Bledsoe, or the QB carousel that was going on? I didn’t hear many of you talking then, but now that you’ve got more pieces to the puzzle in place, you seem to think it’s your time to shine. Crawl out of the woodworks like the vermin you are, maybe hit a few books, I’d recommend English, or to put it more simply, grammar books, to you. In all seriousness, though; at least you have the nuts to post in here like this- when you are clearly outmatched, unlike a certain someone who went Cinderella and Peter Pan on us (with pictures of a very minor TV celebrity, and the king of rock to boot), but I won’t name any names. You’ve said it yourself you’ll give it to us that our fans our better. You also stated in post 52 that our running back and tight end are better than yours. You already said what I wanted you to admit- so really there’s no point in continuing communication with you. I did however find it mildly entertaining that someone who busted out ‘gay nerd’ as an attempt at an insult, thought he could match wits with a Chiefs fan, any Chiefs fan. Thanks for the laughs, now go and thank whatever God you believe in, that Strahan retired. Now all you have to worry about is Justin Tuck and Big Usi, Kiwanuka is also coming for ol’ Homo. So maybe that isn’t such a good thing after all? Hmm.
Adam is this what happens when you step into the Chiefs blog? You get a free spellcheck, You have five people argue about things you never said, and then say there the best fans in football when they get corrected? And you have photoshop battles.
For the record that pinocchio picture is one of the funniest things ive ever seen.
Now if you’ll exuse me I have to go buy a new labtop and hooked on phonics becasue you guys made me cry, here comes the tears..
June 9th, 2008 at 3:14 pm