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The Landry Hat Gets Four Pinocchios


Oh, hell no! They went Disney on us? Well, an eye for an eye, baby. And at least we’re tying our images in, adding a little insult to the image. Peter Pan? Cinderella? No explanation? WTF? Sweet imagination. Walt would be ashamed of you. Speaking of images, instead of bringing a knife to a gunfight, that effort is kind of like a retarded kid bringing MS Paint to a Photoshop showdown. Hey, he tried. We do more than try around these parts.

Now, the Pinocchio/Jiminy Cricket reference isn’t because most Cowboys fans are fairweather coattail riders that jumped on board during either the golden Landry years or The Triplets era. It’s a reference to the straight up whoppers the lead blogger of The Landry Hat, Dan T., has been telling.

Whopper No. 1: Marion Barber, at this point and time, is better than Larry Johnson.

Reality: The stats in no way, shape or form support that. L.J. has consistently been a top-five rusher since taking over for Priest Holmes, and the statistics support that. Easily. Barber has never recorded a 1,000-yard or 20-touchdown season, and last year he couldn’t even beat out Julius Jones. Barber is a fine player, but he isn’t nearily as accomplished or feared at this juncture.

Whopper No. 2: Jason Witten, at this point and time, is better than Tony Gonzalez.

Reality: Witten has never topped Gonzalez head-to-head in catches or yards in any of his five seasons. Dan has tried to compare the way they began their careers to say Witten is/has been the better player, which makes about as much since as an asshole on an elbow, but I digress. There is no reasoning with this guy. This argument has absolutely no merit.

We have no choice but to implement the Washington Post’s “Pinocchio Test” as a result of these fantastic whoppers, and give Dan T. a score of FOUR PINOCCHIOS for his tall tale shenanigans. Congrats to The Landry Hat! You are flushing blogger credibility down the toilet with each post. Appreciate that.

You got played like a puppet, son. Don’t make us go Dumbo on that ass.

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Tags: Arrowhead Addict Dallas Cowboys Jason Witten Kansas City Chiefs Larry Johnson Marion Barber Pinocchio The Landry Hat Tony Gonzalez