Skol This, You Purple Pansies
With the Minnesota Vikings limping into the Sea of Red this weekend, the Arrowhead Addict staff has started a friendly smack exchange with our buddy Dan over at The Viking Age.
First off, we have a little bet between us. The bet: When the Chiefs win on Sunday, he’ll be forced to declare Monday “Kansas City Chiefs” day on The Viking Age, and will have to write gushing, glowing posts about us all day. Should the Vikes win… who am I kidding. Remember the last time a cellar dweller rolled into Arrowhead with a green quarterback? That would be the Niners and Alex Smith last year. That game was pretty close — 41-0. Brooks Bollinger and Tarvaris Jackson won’t fare any better. Especially with Jared Allen back in the line-up. What’s the over/under on Vikes’ turnovers? I’m calling five and taking the over!
As far as this Turk McBride nonsense — dude plays. The rookie recorded a late hit on a near sack of Rex Grossman last week, and had a couple of tackles the week before. Here’s hoping that he blows by Bryant McKinnie this week and tattoos one of those two bums masquerading as NFL QBs. If McKinnie is such a badass, then why doesn’t he zip it and let his playing speak for itself?
That’s right, because McKinnie always makes sure that everybody else is all up in his business. The whole world knew about him going down on that stripper during the infamous Vikings’ “Love Boat” scandal, and now everybody knows he’s been with the uglier Williams sister, which is saying something because both look rather mannish to me…
Whoops! Honestly, I think those two actually look better than Serena and Venus. Unfortunately, it might as well be Serena and Venus Williams out there this Sunday instead of Kevin and Pat Williams, because the Vikings have no chance. Here’s to our old rivals the Vikings, who come Sunday will go down like McKinnie on Lake Minnetonka! (By the way, Dan, you might want to hold off on throwing around phrases like “go down hard” with the big man still on your squad.)
Top Ten Reasons the Chiefs Are Cooler Than the Vikings:
- It may have been almost 40 years ago, but at least the Chiefs have won a Super Bowl. Who was that victory over again? Oh yeah, an overrated bunch of purple-clad lard asses.
- Our coach doesn’t look like Watson on Weight Watchers from the Sherlock Holmes story.
- Unlike Venus “Amazon” Williams, Chiefs players’ wives and girlfriends are actually hot.
- Ragnar would be passed out after twenty minutes of Chiefs tailgating. Think not? He can come meet me in the parking lot on Sunday.
- Most of the Vikings fans I saw up at River Falls looked like they just walked out of a meth lab.
- That horn is gay. Real gay. And I don’t mean homosexual. I mean embarrassing.
- Darrell Bevell makes Mike Solari’s offensive playcalling look like Mike Shanahan’s.
- Larry Johnson, Priest Holmes, Marcus Allen, Christian Okoye… the last Vikings running back to make the Pro Bowl — Michael Bennett. That’s right — a Chief!
- Troy Williamson and his stone hands make Samie Parker look like the second coming of Steve Largent.
- Chiefs players don’t get in trouble for their sex scandals (see Pittsburgh, last year).
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[...] in order to spice things up around here and on our sister site Arrowhead Addict, a wager has been proposed. The bet: Should the Chiefs win on Sunday, I will be forced to declare [...]
September 20th, 2007 at 12:40 pmNow this is definitely a must win. For the sake of the Chiefs' blogosphere!<p>
September 20th, 2007 at 2:17 pmoh, snap! i'd say i might have to smack a bitch, but i think y'all already took care of that for me.
September 20th, 2007 at 3:34 pmKelly Holcomb's probably going to start. I know you're all shaking in your boots now.
September 20th, 2007 at 6:38 pmMandy
Great site! i\’m looking forward to reading more.
October 16th, 2007 at 3:44 pm